


How To Get A Corpo To Stop Clothes Shopping

by Hadrian_Kallig2077



Series: The Many Crack Stories of V and Silverhand [4]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Legendary Gear Hunting, V needs to style on his foes and the NPCS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28727517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadrian_Kallig2077/pseuds/Hadrian_Kallig2077
Summary: “Huh, this actually looks pretty neat! Shame I can’t find the other pieces”Johnny could help V find the rest of those suit pieces. But...it would be a pretty big pain in the ass, driving back and forth across Night City and the Badlands to get all of them.“Ah well, back to clothes shopping”Never mind.“Hey V! I can help you find the rest of the outfit!”V finds a random suit piece. It’s pretty nice looking, and decently armored, to boot. Johnny, seeing that this could be an end to V’s constant clothes shopping, uses his engram abilities (Youtube tutorial) to find the rest of the pieces.
Series: The Many Crack Stories of V and Silverhand [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067441
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	How To Get A Corpo To Stop Clothes Shopping

Another day to rise, another day full of clothes shopping til 11 p.m. Johnny was near rope’s end. If he had to spend ONE more day shopping for clothes, he was gonna take over V’s body and jump off a bridge.

While on the way from the to Jingujis, V spotted a construction site with a suspicious blood trail.

“Huh. Could be something important in there. Let’s check it out.”

V stepped out of the Aerondight and went towards the site. He spotted a body, containing a shard and some folded material.

“Apparently the dude was being stalked by a cyberpsycho coworker. That sucks. Wonder what he was carrying.” V said, as he started unfolding the material.

It was a crisp white shirt and black tie.

“Huh, this actually looks pretty neat! And it’s got some real decent armor, too! Shame I can’t find the other pieces. Would’ve looked great”

Johnny could help V find the rest of those suit pieces. But...it would be a pretty big pain in the ass, driving back and forth across Night City and the Badlands to get all of them.

“Ah well, back to clothes shopping”

Never mind.

“Hey V! I can help you find the rest of the outfit!”

“Really? How?”

“Being an engram’s got a lot of benefits. I could scan the serial number of the clothes and use your little minimap as a cross reference to find all the pieces.”

“Well, let’s do it then!”

**SHIRT ACQUIRED**

**PIECES MISSING FROM FULL SUIT: 4 / 5**

Johnny pointed towards an area in between Haywood and Santa Domingo on V’s map. “There. That’s where you’ll find the shoes that go with this outfit.”

“Are you sure about that, Johnny? Heywood and Santa Domingo aren’t exactly the most regal places in Night City.”

“From what my scans are showing, everyone who owns a piece of this outfit died pretty horribly. Considering this is Corpo clothing we’re trying to loot, they were probably doing some shady shit and got offed for their trouble.”

“Well, if you insist.”

V drove all the way to that small area, running quite a few red lights, but no one in the NCPD decided to chase after them, which was pretty strange to Johnny. Wasn’t the NCPD pretty strict with traffic and speed violations so they could fill up their quotas? Ah well, it didn’t matter. They reached the area within 20 minutes of Johnny pointing out where the shoes were. What greeted the duo were a bunch of trucks that were on fire, as well as an bunch of Millitech soldiers covered in blood. V walked up to the disaster site and started talking to the dead Corpo soldiers.

“Well, seeing as how you’re dead, and I’m not, I think I’ll be taking those wonderful little shoes off your person. We cool?  **Yeah V, we’re totally cool, it’s not like I need to protect my feet anymore, right, ahahahaha** !”

Johnny palmed his face rather aggressively. “What the fuck, V.”

V turned around, a little disgruntled. “I’m just trying to, I don’t know, lighten up the mood a little?”

“You sound like a cross between a serial killer and a complete dumbass. You’re already one half of that wonderful duo, so please don’t start becoming the other half”

“Alright, alright, where’s the next area we gotta run to, Johnny?”

**SHOES ACQUIRED**

**PIECES MISSING FROM FULL SUIT: 3 / 5**

“Alright, found the pair of Glass-”

“Wait wait wait, you’re telling me, this is just a pair of glasses?”

Johnny shrugged. “Yeah. I thought you wanted the entire set.”

V shook his head. “Johnny, I’m more of an aviator guy. Hunting down those glasses is just gonna be a waste of time.”

Johnny nodded. “Alright, if you insist.”

**ADJUSTMENT MADE**

**PIECES MISSING FROM FULL SUIT: 2 / 4**

“The pants and blazer are actually pretty close by each other, just down a block. Head near the end of Watson and you should be able to find em.”

“Alright, lets go”

Another 20 minute drive later, going at the full 210 km/h the Rayfield Caliburn could handle, ended up bringing Johnny and V to a Scav hideout.

“You know what, Johnny?” V asked, as he started to load up his fully modified 4 - Gage - Carnage - Shotgun “The outfit can wait a few minutes”

**ONE BLOODY MASSACRE OF SCAVS WHOM NO ONE WILL EVER MISS LATER**

“Whoo, that was fun! It’s always a good day when I get to clear away those fucking parasites. Anyways, back to the outfit hunting. Where did you say the pants were?”

“Right there. Just head to this little complex that’s off the road.”

V and Johnny drove to the building. V was able to spot some large white spots near a truck.

“Hmm, either the pigeons are having some serious issues, or a Corpo Assassin chromed to the gills died over there. Considering that pigeons are pretty much extinct by now…”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m heading over there.”

V walked up to the dead assassin. “Ugh. If your blood starts going from red to this, maybe you should start rethinking your life choices.”

“Not like this guy’s ever gonna get that chance.”

“Yep.”

**PANTS ACQUIRED**

**PIECES MISSING FROM FULL SUIT: 1 / 4**

“Alright, last one! Let’s go get it!”

Johnny could hardly believe it. Soon, he’d be free of clothes shopping, forever. It was almost too good to be true.

A FEW MINUTES OF DRIVING LATER

V stared at the shard, a mixture of feelings welling up within him.

“Huh. I don’t know whether to laugh at the irony or throw up from the fucked up situation.”

Johnny agreed. “I feel ya. On the one hand, the dude was a clear pedophile, and the girl is either dead or now suffering a fate worse than death. On the other hand, seeing his own daughter in that club there must’ve been quite the shock”

“Yeah. Ugh, and to think I helped these Maelstrom fuckers by helping Royce. Maybe I should revisit their club and give it a better color.”

Johnny smirked. “Well, if you do decide and do that, I’ll make sure to get the popcorn.”

“At least we found the last piece of the outfit! No more having to drive from store to store, now that we’ve got this thing. Wow, it even looks good too. Can’t wait to put it on”

Johnny wanted to cry tears of jubilation, but he decided he’d hold off on that until V was asleep.

**BLAZER ACQUIRED**

**PIECES MISSING FROM FULL SUIT: 0 / 4**

**CORPO GEAR: FOUND**

**STYLE: AMAZING**

**HOTEL: TRIVIAGO**


End file.
